Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian

No more Artemis Fowl. Perhaps that's why I cried for half an hour when I finished The Last Guardian at two o'clock in the morning a few days ago. But I think it was more the shocking twists and spectacular save made by Eoin Colfer that made Book Number 8 the most, in my case, stressful and emotional.

But the stressful part might have been my friend Rose pretty much flat out saying, "You're gonna hate the ending," before I even started the book. I have to repeat her with added contempt on my part, as that ruined the experience of at least half the book for me, and was not in any way true. I love the ending more every time I think about it.

The plot was fantastic, despite the very nerve inducing hints every once in a while. First we have the Berserkers, ancient long-dead fairy warriors from the Battle of Taillte who more or less gave up their souls so that they may one day return and destroy the humans.

Then we have Opal Koboi, making her traditional appearance as villain in every even numbered book, who is now prepared to wipe out every last human on Earth, and probably wouldn't lose any sleep over the act of genocide.

When those two collide, well, let's just say The Last Guardian had very few lags.

In the last book, Artemis was a victim of the Atlantis Complex, a fairy disease whose symptoms were amusing for one book but would have been aggravating if continued in the next. But thankfully, Colfer chose to cure Artemis through Doctor J. Argon shortly before the book began, so no more 4s and MPD.

The book was funny, better than the last couple have been, and ended with enough hanging that you can imagine the future in multiple ways but simultaneously know enough that it's not a cliff hanger. Of course, ending the last book in a series with a cliff hanger (perhaps Percy Jackson should hear this bit) is pointless and stupid. I think The Last Guardian is my favorite of the Artemis Fowl series, even if the cover art is a bit misleading. As far as I can remember, Artemis never wears blue goggles in the book. But that is, of course, irrelevant. Perhaps the artist simply didn't wish to draw Artemis's eyes. I'm sure that Joanie can sympathize.

There were a few unimportant scenes that contradicted the previous books, but I'll look past that and give the book five stars.

Out of a hundred. Just kidding. ★★★★★